Giving up

The time has just about arrived for me to take the leap and drop this crutch I picked up a few years ago. Its time to quit smoking. There have been many things that have led me to this point a bunch of which I will discuss at some point I'll bet, but for now I just wanted to start a little self-therapy for myself. I have been winding down on smoking the last week or so in preparation. I intend to just quit. No patches, gum, candy, etc. All you are doing with those things is substituting one source of nicotine for another. The last time I quit was about 10 years ago. That's about when Adele and I learned she was pregnant. We both quit drinking and smoking the day we learned she was with child. I didnt think it was fair that she should have to carry the burden of carrying our child along with quiting all our beloved vices on her own, and so I joined her in the struggle. When I lost her I went back to all those terrible habits. Well it has been some time now since she has gone on. I have made good progress in rebuilding my shattered world, but I still have quite a bit more room for improvement. I know I am not doing my health and good. I know I am not presenting the best role model for my children. I know I am loosing the respect of some good people because of my bad habits. The last time I tried this I had the support of a wonderful woman to lean on. In return I had the chance to be her support as well. Together we made changes many never thought we were capable of, including ourselves. This time I am doing this by myself. There are a few of you out there who have been waiting and hoping for me to do so, and so I am writing here as kind of my own support system. Nobody really reads this thing anyway so all the ups and downs will go here to help me blow off a little steam when the going gets rough. Maybe a few will pray for me and help me through this challenge.